Sunday, October 09, 2005

low self esteem at work:

chuan xin was commenting on how i dun dress up etc.. well well.. we went cheshire oaks today- a place where the factory outlet stores of most designer wears r located (read: dirt cheap for those who buy such stuff).. i ended up buying: a mini skirt (impractical but i like it n it's only 6 pounds!!), track pants and a water proof coat (both req for walking n mountaineering club).. i shd haf bought a gd pair of running shoes la.. but its so difficult to find one tat's nice (ie appeal to me) and cheap etc tat i decided against lookign for it.. my purple sketchers will hafta last - n anw they r suitable for running wad - tho they r a tad clumsy n big..

ok so ya he was joking abt me being a butch n dun dress up.. im nt hurt or anythg by him (at least nt then) but was juz wondering if im really such a bad dresser.. i mean i wun wear makeup or anythg - unless its sth formal -, i cant wear my nice summer clothes here (well i tink those stuff i wear in spore can still b considered fashionable ba), n i can bear to spend the money buying clothes when i still can tahan the cold wearing wad i haf n they r nt tat gaudy.. i mean hello i m NOT going to spend like lotsa money buyign a new wardrobe cuz im here.. which isnt wrong or anythg but it is JUZ NOT ME.. sigh.. dunno i m upset for wad.. juz m lor.. girl sensitive to comments ma.. as if i wun wanna look gd if i can.. juz tat i cant spend tat money.. was tinking tat even if i haf income of like millions of dollars a yr i will still feel e pinch when i spend like $1000 on a nice watch/dress/gown.. sorry la i m juz niao/giam/stingy.. there're juz thgs tat i will spend money on and there're thgs i wun spend money on.. period

bah no one i can speak to who's online (who'll b online at 7am on sun?!).. bleah i shall content w/ being who i m where i m.. hmm it'll b quite some time b4 i'll go back to the state where i m happy wearing wad i wear.. dotz.. *%&@# negative emotions.. shall post a nice pic of sunset tml.. when i m in better mood..

ps nt his fault for saying anythg abt it.. it's juz tat i m oversensitive n perhaps tired after a long day out.. so complaining here..