Tuesday, September 05, 2006

been worrying quite a bit nowadays :(

on sun my parents received a call saying that my grandpa isn't too well. so i've been going to my grandpa's place for the past 2 days. today, i haven't even reached his place for 5 min when my 6th aunt picked up a call. and then i saw shock all over my 6th aunt face and the phone was passed to my 4th aunt. the call was to inform my grandpa that his nephew was dead.

i don't remember him at all actually. he is supposedly rather young -- ok middle aged will be more apt. he was changing a punctured tire when he suddenly got a heart attack. my aunts were shocked because the person who died was someone of their own generation, and he died suddenly, without warning. and then there was all the talk about how he died before his mother.

apparantly, the night before, his mum had a close shave with death. so he stayed with her in the hospital till 3am. and then he died later in the day. so there was a lot of 'what ifs'. what if he left earlier and had more rest. what if he din work today. what if what if.. the whole hse is just in a frenzy..

then my dad and my 6th aunt rushed down to SGH for him and to offer their condolences.

and just when we think it is the end of the matter, my dad received a call at about 730pm. the mother of the deceased had passed away. haiz.. bad things come in pairs. or rather, the mother and child are so close that one cannot live without the either. either way.. poor family. i cant imagine them living with the double shock.

and all this while we were trying to hush things up and not let my grandpa know. He's apparantly very close with his eldest sister. and he'll know for sure. and i am afraid that he might just join them..

been wondering how i'd wanna die. just when im thinking of dying suddenly -- ie nt of old age but more like from accident etc cuz there will b less pain on me and my caregivers -- the news of my uncle dying came in. well.. he died unexpectedly. but his poor family. they aint prepared at all and they aint ready and they din get to saying goodbye. so to die suddenly will result in very little pain on my side but a lot on my family's side. hmmmm

haha bez solution - dun die.. ;)

been rather weak recently and drinking chinese medicine 2x a day. haha rather scary man say i got weak pulse not enough blood anaemic etc. oh well.. guai guai drink medicine and hope i wun b as weak soon. till then, i'll sleep and sleep and sleep :D